


all i want for christmas

by clayisforgirls



Series: brownieverse [8]
Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clayisforgirls/pseuds/clayisforgirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"knowing that Mardy's only a phone call away isn't enough but it's something and on Christmas Eve it's so much better than not being able to speak to him at all"</p><p>Originally posted in December 2009.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all i want for christmas

Christmas to Andy has always meant family. Most years they've spent it with their extended family; Andy remembers long road trips across America, sitting on one side of the backseat of the car, trying to avoid whatever prank John was trying to pull on him, or once, squashed between his two brothers, complaining that he hated being the smallest because he always got picked on. They'd both laughed, and for the next hour, it had become even worse. His mother had rolled her eyes in the front seat, neither encouraging or discouraging her wayward sons, and his father had just let them get on with it, because he knew there was no stopping them if it was just harmless fun.

Childhood Christmases just fond memories now; the last two years had been spent in Florida with just his grandmother and whatever girlfriends his brothers were dating and last year, Mardy as a late addition, sitting far too close to Andy, whispering his ear and laughing and getting suspicious looks from everyone at the table, including his grandmother. It was a conversation he never wanted to happen again, he loved his grandmother but the almost lecture on ‘men, Andrew Stephen, do not giggle with other men' had stung, and when Mardy had climbed into his bed later that night, he'd kissed Mardy gently and sent him back to his own room. The hurt in Mardy's eyes had been all too obvious, the explanation dying on the tip of his tongue and when they'd finally been alone in the house he'd kissed Mardy to make him understand, to promise that he'd never kick Mardy out of his bed again. It had worked, Mardy had given him that soft smile, the one that just belongs to him, the one that he loves more than almost anything else, and everything had been okay.

Only a year ago but it seems so much longer than that. Mardy's not living with them anymore, his year at the Roddicks ended six months ago and though Mardy's only a short drive away they might as well be oceans apart. Six months of drifting apart, only seeing each other at tournaments or when Mardy comes to visit and though Mardy tries for every other weekend, in reality it's more like one in three but after living with him for so long, even every weekend wouldn't seem like enough.

Phone calls their only real connection, a month after he'd been given a cell phone it'd been taken off him after every call on the bill was to Mardy Fish and after that he'd been forced to use their house phone. They talk about everything and nothing at all, could be anything from how Andy's doing in math (terribly) to how their latest tournaments went (they're both improving, Andy faster than Mardy much to his brother's chagrin) to what their plans are for January (Australia for Andy, futures for Mardy).

This time he's got the receiver cradled in his shoulder as though it's his only lifeline. Without it he'd be lost, knowing that Mardy's only a phone call away isn't enough but it's something and on Christmas Eve it's so much better than not being able to speak to him at all, especially now he's come from Mexico, willed his father to break every speed limit on the way back from the airport just so he could have this conversation.

"So, when do I get my present?"

Mardy laughs on the other end of the phone, mutters something about Andy being completely predictable under his breath and Andy smiles back, a natural reaction as if Mardy was in the room with him. Which, he should be, because Christmas just doesn't seem the same without Mardy. It's been three weeks since he spent time with his boyfriend - the time they spent together between matches at the Orange Bowl a different story, they'd hung out as friends but nothing more with the other kids around other than one kiss after Andy had won and Mardy hadn't - another before Mardy spends New Year's with him and to Andy, that's just too long. The present is important too, but really, the present means Mardy and that's what Andy's looking forward to the most. Mardy just being in the same room with him makes him feel less alone, to have him and to be able to kiss him makes him feel like he's the most important person in the world, and in a week it'll be reality again, he'll be able to touch Mardy, to feel his soft skin under his hands, to kiss him, first on the corner of his mouth until Mardy shifts and it's almost too perfect, to-

"Andy?"

It cuts into his thoughts, trying to shake off the images of Mardy beneath his hands, half undressed, blue eyes too bright and too eager, saying his name like he's Mardy's own personal Jesus.

"Yeah? I'm listening," but it's unconvincing, even he knows it, and if Mardy hadn't cut into his thoughts he's sure he'd still be off in his fantasy, dreaming of kissing Mardy and blowjobs and really, really perfect sex that they're not allowed to have while his parents are in the house. He's pretty sure that it's not fair to withhold something that good, but he can't complain because he's also pretty sure that most parents would have politely asked Mardy to leave after they'd caught him sleeping with their son.

Thankfully his parents aren't most parents; his mother may frustrate him but he also knows she can be the coolest mom in the world.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire."

"What are you, twelve?" he jokes, territory all too familiar because they've had this argument countless times, can picture Mardy's eyes rolling at him for acting like a child. It's comforting, even when they're miles apart the reaction is still the same.

"It's no fun if I don't match your level of maturity." Teasing is softened by affection, can hear it in Mardy's voice and it just makes him miss the blonde more. Thinks that it's not fair that Mardy's in Vero Beach and he's in Boca, wants to make the miles between their houses disappear so he could just walk down the street and see him. Though if that was reality, Mardy would never have lived with them and maybe they'd never have kissed, and Andy's not exactly sure which is the worse scenario.

"Shut up Fishy." It's the only retort he can come up with, just proving Mardy's point that he has a mental age of twelve but he knows Mardy's smiling anyway, can almost hear it down the phone and if Mardy was here he'd be getting a kiss right about now, stubble grazing his chin as Mardy presses his lips against his own, practised so many times now that it's just about perfect. "Wish you were here."

"Yeah, me too. It's only a week though," and there's hope underneath his words, they've lasted twenty-one days without really being together, that one kiss at the Orange Bowl not counting because it was barely a kiss, more like a hug-plus, they can last another seven, "and Blanche said I can stay a few more days. Mom said she's cool with it."

And then silence because he doesn't know how to reply without sounding like a girl, can hear Mardy breathing on the other end of the phone but it doesn't comfort him, it just makes him miss him more.

Footsteps come closer and he looks up to find his mom standing above him, one hand outstretched to take the phone off him; she knows them too well and is all too aware they can spend all night saying nothing.

"Andy, sweetie? We're all heading to bed. You can speak to Mardy tomorrow."

"Mom," he starts, stretching it into three syllables and she just gives him that look, the one he knows means she isn't taking any of his crap tonight and he sighs, resigning himself to falling asleep to a movie he's seen a million times, wishing that Mardy was there to laugh along with him.

"Is that Blanche?" Mardy asks, voice barely audible with his hand covering the phone and he nods, takes a moment to realise that Mardy can't actually see him, but it doesn't seem to matter, "I want to wish her a merry Christmas. I'll- I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Yeah," and he doesn't want to hand the phone over but he knows he has to, his mom still hovering over him and there's still awkwardness over dating Mardy, doesn't want to flaunt it in front of anyone because though they all say they're fine there's an edge of weirdness about it. Decides that the weirdness is worth it, almost whispers "love you Fishy," so softly that he's sure his mother can barely hear it.

"You too," the reply comes, and Andy hates that Mardy never actually says he loves him over the phone, can't help but act like the jealous boyfriend even though he knows why; there'd be no explaining it to Mardy's parents, and he really doesn't want Mardy to end up homeless over him. He's not worth it.

With that he hands the phone to his mom, half catches the conversation as he pulls himself off the floor and trudges up the stairs, and the last thing he hears is "see you soon, Mardy" and though he knows that soon means New Year, because Blanche hasn't seen Mardy in even longer than him, deep down he wishes that soon was sooner than seven days. 

 

~ ~ ~

 

First sign of light seeps into his room as he wakes; Andy squints at the glowing red dots on his nightstand until they make some kind of sense, eventually makes them out to be 5.30am and knows that it's too early to get up. Christmas in the Roddick household doesn't start until at least 7am, knows this from past years when he'd woken his parents up at three am because he was too impatient to wait for presents. Not quite as excited now, the magic of Christmas isn't quite as special as when he was ten but there's still the faint hum of excitement crawling under his skin, the same one he gets just before he walks onto court, and knows he won't be able to get back to sleep.

Decides he might as well get up, no different from a normal day when he'd have practise before school and though he has no one to practise with, he can always hit a few serves to release some of the excess energy he always has on Christmas Day. Tiptoes down the corridor, taking the stairs lightly so they don't creak under his weight, knowing exactly where to place his feet so he doesn't wake anyone else up. He's about to step into the kitchen, cool metal under his hand, halfway to pushing the door open, when he sees the warm glow coming from the family room.

His mother isn't someone who leaves the lights on and Andy's fairly sure she made sure they were all switched off before they went to bed. Moment of panic, of this could be a burglar but he comes to his senses, first they live in Boca Raton, and second, a burglar wouldn't make it this obvious that he was trying to steal something. There have to be better ways than turning the light on, and curiosity gets the better of him, though he's cautious as he peeks around the doorframe, still half expecting someone to jump out at him.

No one does, although there's someone sleeping on the couch, the light from the corner lamp creating shadows at all the wrong angles and Andy can't make out who it is though the face looks familiar. Hand fumbles for the first light switch, eyes slam shut at the harsh light that invades the room and when he opens them again, blinking as they try to refocus, he realises that the person on the couch is all too familiar.

It's a face he knows, a face he loves and he can't stop himself from smiling when he sees that its Mardy stretched across their couch, feet dangling off the end, his face half buried in a pillow, one which Andy recognises as being from their guest room. See you soon, Mardy, rings in his head, the thought that they set this up follows and he both hates and loves his mom for this, for managing to actually keep it a secret from him, because Mardy Fish being on his couch is the best present he could have hoped for.

Watches Mardy stir as he presses a kiss to his forehead, grinning like crazy when blue eyes meet his own and a sleepy smile flits over Mardy's face before Mardy's lips meet his own and it's just like he imagined, Mardy's tongue pressing against his lips and instinctively he parts them, tongue rubbing over Mardy's as he somehow gets onto the couch, straddling his boyfriend. The only thing that's stopping him from undressing Mardy right now is the thought of someone finding them curled beneath blankets together in the morning, and with that thought he pulls away, Mardy sleepily blinking at him, still wearing a stupid smile and Andy's sure that the expression mirrors his own.

"Roddick, it's too early for this shit."

"You fucking started it," he murmurs back, leaning towards Mardy instinctively because there's something about Mardy that's magnetic; no matter where Mardy is in a room he'll always find himself gravitating towards the blonde and always has done and though it'd taken him four years to realise it, he's pleased he did.

"Yeah, well..." and they're kissing again, his hands tangled in Mardy's hair and god, it feels so good, he doesn't want to stop, not when Mardy's hands are everywhere, pulling at his pants and pushing his t-shirt up all at the same time except if this goes any further, he won't be able to stop and reluctantly he breaks their kiss, hand still in blonde hair and there's something about the moment that just feels so right, so perfect, he takes a moment to speak.

"Does your mom know you're here?" he asks and he gets a tiny nod from Mardy, relief flooding through his veins because he doesn't want to be on the end of a lecture from either one of their mothers, his own would understand more than most but Mardy's would only consider him a bad influence and try to encourage Blanche to send him home with his tail between his legs.

"Said Blanche wanted me to spend Christmas morning with you guys, she considers me part of the family and all that shit. Driving home this afternoon but..."

Doesn't finish the sentence, doesn't have to because he's thinking the same thing; it's worth Mardy being here even if it's only for a few hours. Extended family or not, he knows that there has to be something at the back of Sally Fish's mind that he coming here to see Andy, and along with their roadtrip weekends, the ones where they drive in almost circles for hours and end up sharing a bed in a motel room, it's not something that friends do, and especially not if Mardy returns from them acting anything like Andy does - a little bit happier, calmer, but feeling hopelessly lost.

"I'm glad you're here," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to Mardy's cheek before he makes himself comfortable alongside his boyfriend, couch too small even for one of them because he's determined to make this work. He ends up using Mardy's arm as half his pillow, face almost buried in his chest but he doesn't care; doesn't matter how many aches and pains he'll wake up with in an hour because right now it seems perfect.

"Best present ever?" Mardy asks him once he's settled, far too smug and without looking he knows Mardy's grinning like he's the greatest thing known to man. Which, he might be, at least if that man is Andy Roddick.

"Yeah. You're all I wanted anyway."

"Girl," Mardy teases, but he's sure that Mardy feels the same way, confirmed when he glances upwards to see the happiness written all over his boyfriend's face.

"Brat," he says around a yawn, snuggling against Mardy, suddenly tired because the anticipation is gone, the excitement wearing off and it's just like he was a child. Maybe a little different, a child would have been more interested in his toys but he's got at least six hours with Mardy. He can afford a little more sleep.

Mardy's eyes are already shut, fluttering open for mere seconds when Andy presses a too chaste kiss to his lips, and he hears a soft "love you" whispered into his hair.

The presents in eight colours of wrapping paper have nothing on this; though he's too warm and the couch is too small for the two of them and his knee is starting to complain, he couldn't ask for a more perfect present than sleeping next to the man he loves.

Amends that to maybe a Grand Slam and then going home to celebrate with the man he loves, but for now this is as perfect as he can get.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the Mariah Carey Christmas song, obviously.


End file.
